PappuPhookingPuzzlingPonderngParanoia

What’s with Pappu and his phooking? He used to be your sweet, average, good-intentioned, bad-looking geek. Of course, he still is. Except that out of his many always-harboured intentions of personal inversion, subversion and perversion, one, let’s say, came to ‘light’ in the past year: leading to his incessant phooking today. Oh how banal the reasons for starting were, and oh how exciting it became over a period of time, and oh how dangerously addictive it runs the risk of becoming. Though not entirely oblivious to the risk he’s running, Pappu is detached, vulnerable, and undecided – just like he is with other issues of life. It’s strange how Pappu is always a long-term thinker in all other matters (sometimes too long-term, some might argue!), but when it comes to this, no amount of second-thoughts can save him. In the last eight months of silent-slacky-smoky-sad evenings, Pappu has tried to escape this crazy hazy maze twice. Both times, to put it mildly, ‘Pappu pass nahi hua.’ What a tragedy for such a sweet, average, good- intentioned, bad-looking geek. Now he’s living with it. Do you know that Pappu likes sitting down in a dark quiet place while performing his phooking? Long, long ago, when Pappu was on the other side of the philter, he heard from a Sarkari friend that rather than walking about with a butt, he would rather sit down on one’s own while phooking. Although amusing at the time, Pappu totally subscribes to this theory now. Pappu loves phooking when it occurs in a silent, gloomy, nostalgic environment. He has rationalized his behaviour by associating his act of phooking with his act of silent meditative contemplation. One he wants to continue throughout his life, and the other he doesn’t want to. Pappu’s predicament is that the situation has reached a stage where one is unthinkable without the other. And then on the other hand, Pappu ponders whether this is just paranoia? People phook, and Pappu shouldn’t? What does Pappu do? Pappu is stuck. Another disastrous personal problem to add to the list of disastrous personal problems of life. Poor Pappu.

But maybe paranoid Pappu over-reacts. There is still hope. There will always be hope.

Sometimes quitters win.